Being a TRUE Woman

PC: Internet 

I’m an introvert in an extrovert world.

I’m a feeler in a world of thinkers.

I strive to be authentic in a world of fakers. 

And worst of all, I’m a woman in a (supposedly) man’s world.

🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕🌗🌗🌘🌑

“One gets birth of a woman due to past life sins” – declares the Hindu scriptures. This seems to just be a casual rant of a misogynist who later gained fame as a philosopher (as it often happens in patriarchal societies). But the Indian (especially Hindu) society makes sure that these words come true. Society makes sure that women feel cursed for just being born as women – by burdening them with roles, duties, expectations, judgements, traditions, etc. 

… ... ... 

Religion is said to be a path to self-realization. It’s supposed to make people shun away the

distractions of the world and make them turn inward, towards the Inner Truth and Authenticity. 

But in reality, religion was hardly any of this - it encouraged mindless superstitions, endless rites and rituals and other such rubbish. It felt hallow, with no substance – it was very shallow with no depth or meaning.

But I am a “modern”, “educated” woman, right? Why should I bother about religion?

Well, to be honest, being educated just makes it worse. 

I can no longer remain blissfully ignorant and turn a blind eye towards all the blood boiling injustice meted out by religion. 

I can no longer buy into the bunkum that all the restrictions are beneficial for women and does good to them. 

Also, the so-called “modern”, “educated” society was in no way better than the “orthodox” “traditional” society. It was just as fake and superficial. It was quite pretentious in nature, with people who boasted to be broad-minded but in reality, were cold-hearted.

Both the societies are equally misogynist – just that one is open about it and the other more subtle.

Both have expectations about women – both expect women to uphold certain standards – both judge women for not being good “enough" ... 

Enough !!! 

I have had ENOUGH !

I just wanted to leap out of all this mess.

*Neither religion nor education gave answers to my haunting questions about life. 

*Neither of them fulfilled me nor did they give me any form of peace or solace in

life. 

*I wanted to break free from this restricted life – shackled by religion on one hand and modernity on the other. 

* I wanted to live on my own - find my own purpose of life and live authentically, all on

my own, without the need to be pretentious and fake.

A woman leading her own life, leaving behind her family, was traditionally unheard of. Indeed, the very idea was scandalous. A woman was ALWAYS supposed to adjust and compromise with her husband’s family, in spite of facing grave problems. 

And here, I didn’t even have any such problem. I wasn’t harassed by my husband or in-laws, so according to the standards of the society, me thinking of leaving my family behind was just an outburst of frustration caused by routine life. “Don’t worry, it will gradually fade. Just worship this particular deity every day. Recite this stotram, you will get peace of mind.” – This was their standard reply.

And then there were some gossip-mongers, who slung mud on my character, saying that I was planning to elope with some other guy.

HUH!

A guy who does the very same thing (of leaving behind family) becomes a saint, a Guru. But a woman who even thinks of it becomes a whore!

Religion had heavily restricted the whole concept of attending the Ultimate Truth only to men. Women were immersed in the darkness of superstitions and weren’t allowed to seek the Truth, perhaps due to the fear that they would cease to be slaves if they did! 

And what to say of the modern society? It was certainly not free of gossipers and mud-slingers. But unlike the orthodox society, it didn’t object to women leaving behind their families, as long as they became corporate wage slaves and immersed themselves in the mire of materialism. Finding the Ultimate Truth, in their context, often translated to finding a job which one enjoyed. I didn’t want that; I didn’t want to erode my energy trying to fend for myself – so the modern society didn’t approve of me. 

Also, the “modern” society only liked to side with women who were “victims” – widows, domestic violence sufferers, abandoned women, etc. I was neither of these – and was therefore considered to be unsuitable for their support and charity. The “modern’ society only liked to pity women and sympathize with them – it didn’t actually seem interested in any form of solidarity or empowerment. 

My idea of leaving behind my family, when I had no problems within sight, was always met with ridicule. “See a physiatrist, dear. You need counselling.” was the oft-repeated advice I received from the modern, educated society. 

Hounded thus by people of both sides, I one day took the bold step and escaped into the forest. 

I saw the old haunted mansion there. As I neared it, an old lady came out and looked deep into my eyes. 

There, in her eyes, laid all my answers … 👀👭🔥🔴